Tragedy & Community
The (15th) anniversary of my daughter Gracie’s death is in a few weeks. It’s a time of a particular mourning for me, and also a time of being grateful that I had support when I needed it. My life has wildly changed since then, and just this morning I was noticing that. I’m newly married (2 ½ years) to a man I adore, living in a house we love on land that is wild, and we have good health! I am happy. WE are happy. SUPER happy!
And yet..it’s a bit unnerving at times. Rather like waiting for the other shoe to drop. Going through a horrible time shows you that life can be fucking miserable, and there is nothing you can do about it. That’s to say nothing of people with ongoing difficulties whether it’s a personal daily reality of pain, exhausting caregiving, or a lack of funds even for the most basic of needs. Plus, what about when things are fabulous for you in any moment, but the world around us is full of absolutely heinous, appalling acts that we are having trouble stopping. Where do you go with that?
So life can be overwhelming.
I am constantly looking for answers for all this…and I found one that really makes a difference. Community. I’ll define that loosely as people around you who know you, care about you and support you. AND there doesn’t have to be one community – there can be multiple and overlapping ones. I mean, BETTER! It can be tricky and intimidating to find community, but certainly possible. It starts with the first step.
So how do you find your community? Having moved like 30+ times in my life, I can speak from experience here. First though, I noticed that it’s an effort. An intention. I found I needed to really step up and make this happen, rather than having it fall in my lap. I looked for commonality first. I’m an artist, so I’d look for other artists through museums, schools and art shows. I’ll join events through volunteering (GREAT way to meet people!), and even just attending and introducing myself “Hi! I’m Gigi and I’m new to the area.” (I’d talk about their art & art in general…and show them I care) “Is there a group you’re a part of where I could meet other artists like us?” Boom. If you can, you’ll need to leave your house gang. And if that’s hard, start small. Go to the library and see what activities are posted. Ask them where else can you find out what’s up locally. The more you talk with people, the more you’ll find they’re around. And if you just can’t get out and do that…check out things online. Meetup.com is a great resource for finding local get-togethers. So is Facebook. And by the way, this is about finding community. Feeling a sense of belonging takes a little longer, but it’s part of the process, so be patient.
It’s funny, but I’m seeing communities “come back”. A LOT of us are feeling a loneliness in our lives and wondering where to go with that, and we’re figuring out that connecting is going to ease it. So it’s happening. More and more and faster and faster. Btw, once you find your community, look for others ones in need and bring them into it. BE that wonderful person!!
Love you guys.
Gigi
Photo - No idea who took this photo (found it in a search - it's the town of Chefchaouen in Morocco, and I honor, appreciate and send blessings to the nameless photographer. I actually wanted one with people in it, but I don't like posting pics of people without their consent. On why the houses are blue, here's what ChatGPT says - "no one knows for certain, but the best-known explanation links Chefchaouen’s blue houses to its Jewish community. Blue represents the sky and heaven in Jewish tradition, and residents are said to have painted their homes blue as a spiritual reminder. Accounts differ about when that practice began.
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