Words Matter (A LOT)

Words matter team. Always.

They can motivate, inspire, relieve, and just make us feel really wonderful!  At the same time, they can be CRAZY toxic, destructive, and hateful. And that’s dangerous.

I had someone close to me say “I think you are a narcissistic. condescending, CxxT! fuck you!!”

It’s fairly shocking..and super mean. As a note, I personally never use that “C” word hatefully. I always show love and respect for all yonis, and I enjoy the humorous aspect of the word as well. I also am very careful with my words so that I never express toxicity such as hate, spite, resentment, name-calling…and anything mean in general.  Because I refuse to do that. Do I get really pissed off? Oh yes. Absolutely. I can get so angry it scares me. Which is why I know to walk away and calm down before I speak. Always. It’s a choice. Getting angry, furious, and holding rage…these things happen. How we deal with them is a choice.

Which leaves us here. They haven’t apologized (it’s been a bit less than a month), we haven’t spoken, and a mutual friend was told (by them) that that they had no issues with me. So ok, clearly the apology isn’t happening, and this is about me letting it go. Sort of.

Saying that was abusive. And they’ve said mean stuff to me before. So ok, I could totally cut them off and say “enough”, which is tempting. But is that the higher way to go? I like to operate from a place of light as a general rule. Plus, a mentor said that putting on my “compassion hat” really is necessary. Anyone with that sort of anger has issues, and a life that clearly is not serving them. As in, they are radically unhappy.  Maybe they have marital issues, perhaps their job is less than satisfying, money is tight…it could be anything. Now, it’s not my job to change them, or heal them, especially when they haven’t asked. Forgiveness is an obvious answer. At what point do we stop forgiving the abuse that just keeps happening? And what if they are abusing others, who perhaps fail to have the wherewithall to stop them? What if I’m (potentially) the only one to stand up to them, on my own behalf and others? What if talking with them is an opportunity to end a cycle of abuse? They have close contact with people I care about. I want them safe.

This is where the world IS team. We’ve all been so abused that we’re numb and unsure how to go forward, and in SO many realms. It’s changing who we are as individuals, as a society, and as a planet, actually. It’s exhausting, at times, trying to keep up.

Deep breath.

Ok, clearly I need to talk with them. I am to be the one to speak up and stop this. Or at the very least, make them aware of how very wrong this is, and what comes from it. I manifest that it goes well AND that the ripples are very positive. Please hold space for that happening for me. Us.

If you can’t do everything, do something.  And please, watch your words.