First, “queer” can be a derogatory term. Let’s stop using it that way. I found this – “a person might use the term “queer” to describe any sexual orientation or gender identity that is not heterosexual or cisgender” and I like it….because it fails to be absolute. Let's use QUEER in the way that is most beautiful - to represent someone who is open to have consensual, intimate relationships with anyone they truly love and/or are attracted to. BOOM.
Historically and to date, I’ve chosen to have intimacy with men, and additionally a few sweet, but brief, intimacies with women. All were lovely people, but I prefer men, and would normally think of myself as straight. Here’s the thing – there are a bazillion people on this planet, and I am open to there potentially being non-male people with whom to be intimate. That openness, that’s how I take QUEER to be for those of us who might normally pass on something that’s not EXACTLY what we feel we are. And that categorization we’re choosing – you know, it’s fine, but it’s separating us. Wouldn’t it be better for all to just be open to having intimacy with whomever? Why do we need to use all these words that pull us apart?
I shared this with a friend, and they said they firmly believe that we are all heading towards “Caramel and queer”. Eventually, she holds, everyone will be caramel in color (combining all races) and queer (which accepts all types of sexuality jointly). Doesn’t that sound easy? And so true. And….it’s just a loving thing.
I look so forward to the day that we stop worrying about words that makes us different, and instead use ones that make us all….not the same exactly….but connected.
So I’m starting that now. As a queer woman.
What are your thoughts?